You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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