remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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