She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
