Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
