Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize