Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Randomize
