we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
