you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
