Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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