whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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