dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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