My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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