I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
