I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
