Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
