why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
