school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i wish my penis had a tongue
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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