Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
