Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
