It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
grandma shit on top of the toilet
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
