there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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