I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
