I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
