just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
