the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize