Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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