You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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