8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
