The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I've blown a few things in my day
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize