Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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