If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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