My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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