yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
