Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
