Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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