Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize