Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Operation Purity has been aborted
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
