He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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