Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
