This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
