I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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