We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize