You smell like a Billy Joel song
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
