Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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