I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
