Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
