I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dear god my vagina.
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