Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
me + whiskey = a bad person
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
