Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
