Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
