I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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