Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
