I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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