So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
