Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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