I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I need moral support for this bender
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
