fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
