We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
