He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize